Mario ang Luigi: Brothers in Arms
by thestudyofwumbo
Summary: A Tarantino/Robert Rodriguez esque Mario story where Mario, Luigi, and Daisy drive across the Mushroom kingdom to save Princess Peach from Bowser.
1. Chapter 1

There was nothing on the road in front of their car, nothing but dust. There was no sound besides the roar of the engine as Mario and Luigi drove through the desert.

"Mario, how much longer before we get there?" Luigi had his feet hanging out the window and his green cap pulled down over his eyes.

"I don't know Luigi. I didn't know when you asked five minutes ago, and I certainly don't know now. and when you ask me again in another five minutes my answer's still gonna be I don't know." Mario had both hands on the steering wheel and a tired look on his face.

"Oh Shut it! I didn't even have to go with you. I could be at home right now eating spaghetti and watching TV, But no! Your girlfriend had to get kidnapped again and Now I have to be dragged across the desert trying to get her back for the thousandth time!"

"Luigi, one more word and I'm going to open the door and kick you out, then we'll see if you can make it home to your spaghetti and T.V." Luigi lifted up his hat and pulled his feet in through the window.

"I'd like to see you try shorty!" Luigi shifted in his seat so his whole body was facing Mario.

"What the hell did you just call me? I swear I'm gonna pull over and beat the sh-"

"Oh my god will you both shut up!?" Princess Daisy sat up from the backseat. "How Am I supposed to sleep with you two jackasses screamin' each other's heads off!"

"It's not my fault Mario's bein' an idiot." Luigi said as he pointed at Mario.

"You're both bein' idiots. now shut up before the whole friggin' Mushroom Kingdom hears you." Just as Daisy finished talking, sirens blared behind their car as a police car got closer and closer to their rear bumper.

"Great." Luigi said as he slouched in his seat. Mario held his hand out of the window and waved it forward, signalling the car to pass. Daisy turned around and looked out the back window of the car to see a Shy Guy with a cop hat driving the cop car.

"Luigi, Don't Toads run law enforcement in the Mushroom Kingdom?" Daisy said as she turned her head towards the front seat.

"Yeah, why?"

"Aw crap." Daisy said as she looked back out the rear window. She leaned down under the seat and pulled out a double barrel shotgun. Princess Daisy crawled out of the rear driver's side window and sat in the window frame before pointing her gun at the Shy Guy behind the wheel. Mario waved his hand at Daisy, trying to get her back in the car, but Daisy fired the gun and immediately afterwards the windshield of the cop car exploded inwards and soon the car swerved off the road and flipped a few times before coming to a rest upside down in a ditch.

Mario pulled the car over and got out followed by Luigi and Daisy. they looked over the wrecked car and Mario sighed as a shy guy mask full of holes fell out of the wreck.

"Would you freakin' tell us that it's not a real cop before you shoot the driver?!" Luigi said as he turned to Daisy.

"Yeah, why don't I just give him as much time as he needs to shoot all three of us!" Daisy put the smoking shotgun over her shoulder and walked back to the car. "Now come on! This little event means that Bowser knows we're already on our way!"

Mario looked at the wreckage and then back to Daisy, he sighed and shook his head. "I can't imagine what she's gonna do to Bowser when we get there."


	2. Chp 2: Bowsers Poolside Story

"I don't get it Princess, Not only do I let you out of your room, but I also let you go for a swim in my pool! and I even had my koopas rub sun tan lotion on you so you won't burn. The least you could do is thank me." Bowser was sitting poolside under a large umbrella. He had a drink in his hand and sitting next to him was his daughter Wendy. Princess Peach was laying on a floating lounge chair in the middle of the pool. She was wearing a pink swimsuit and sunglasses. Her hair was tied into a ponytail and her crown was perched perfectly on top of her head. And the rest of the Koopalings were swimming around her.

"Screw you Bowser. Screw you and your annoying ass kids." Peach looked around at Bowser's kids who were splashing and yelling. The only one of them who wasn't making noise was Iggy, who was watching Princess Peach. Truth is Iggy had a thing for Blonde Princesses. And Peach wanted to work that to her advantage any way she could.

"Insult me all you want Peach." Bowser started. "Because once I have everything I need I'm going to repaint the Mushroom Kingdom in my own image. And there's not a damn thing your little Knight in shining overalls can do about it." Bowser laughed and laid down in his chair.

"How about you let me take you, one on one, without the help of your spoiled kids. I'll beat you so bad you're gonna be wishing Mario would come save _you._" Peach sat up and looked at Bowser. Who just waved his hand dismissively.

"Whatever you say Princess. have fun while you can, because when I'm in charge, I'm gonna have you, Princess Daisy, and The Plumber Bros all publicly executed. no amount of 1-ups can reattach your head Peachy." Bowser laughed uproariously as Peach laid back down with a worried look on her face before soflty rubbing her neck. The Koopalings kept swimming around the pool as Peach hoped that Mario was having better luck than she was.


	3. Chp 3 Waluigi's tension

Mario cursed to himself and pulled over to the side of the road. When Luigi asked him what was wrong, Mario said nothing and instead got out of the car and walked to the trunk. He opened it and laying down, tied up with a piece of tape over his mouth was Waluigi.

"What the hell is he doing in the trunk?" Daisy said as she closed her door and looked into the trunk.

"I picked him up before I picked you two up." Mario started. "I thought he might know something about Bowser. I was planning on interrogating him after I picked you up but then I forgot about him." Mario pulled the tape off Waluigi's mouth and sighed as he gasped for air.

"What kind of sick damn joke do you think you're pulling Mario!" Waluigi yelled. "You know me and Wario don't interfere with any of Bowser's activities! We wouldn't work with that dumbass if he paid us all the coins in the Mushroom Kingdom!" Waluigi squirmed around. The trunk was wide, but not wide enough for Waluigi's tall, lanky body. So he was curled up as much as he could be with ropes around his hands and legs.

"I just thought that maybe-"

"You Thought!? You tied me up and threw me in your trunk for two days because you thought I might know something?! Screw you! I don't know anything!" As Waluigi was yelling, Luigi turned around to see a large van filled with Koopas and Shy Guys armed with machine guns driving towards them from a distance.

"Mario, We better get the hell out of here." Luigi said as he pointed off in the distance. Mario turned around and saw the van.

"Aw crap." Mario quickly turned around and put the tape back on Waluigi's mouth before closing the trunk and getting back in the car followed by Luigi and Daisy. Waluigi's muffled yells from the trunk were drowned out by the car engine as the 68' Thunderbirdo pulled back Onto the road and took off, soon machine guns were being fired from behind them and Mario, Luigi, and Daisy ducked as their back windshield exploded and glass flew throughout the interior of the car. Luigi looked into the backseat and pointed to a small leather loop sticking out of the bottom of the seat.

"Daisy, pull that upwards." Daisy nodded and pulled it, and soon the entire seat lifted up and under it was an RPG.

"Holy hell." Daisy picked up the Rocket Launcher and handed it to Luigi. It had "Bonzai" painted on the side of it in green paint. Luigi held it out the window and fired. A large black missle with two eyes and a smiling mouth with sharp teeth propelled itself towards the van and soon the whole thing exploded, sending scrap metal and bodies flying in all directions.

"Oh crap." Mario pulled over again and got out of the car, followed by Luigi and Daisy. They looked at the trunk, which was filled with bullet holes. Mario opened the trunk and all three of them cursed simultaneously as they cringed and looked away.

"Well." Luigi said. "At least he didn't have anything important to tell us."


End file.
